Free joke software for mac

The On-Line Joke Book is a compilation of clean jokes and stories gathered online. Published twice yearly in the PDF format, The OLJB can be read by just about any Mac. You can sign up for a mailing list for future versions.

SBook5 5.1.010 offers you a useful and very quick AI-based personal information manager for computers running the Mac OS X operating system. SBook5 organizes your information into pages, or entries, with one page for each person, company, or thing that you need to track. Each of these entries can have any number of postal addresses, phone numbers, email addresses, or other information. SBook recognizes the information that you put into each entry and allows you to intelligently manage it.

Major Features:

1. Automatically tells the difference between an entry that represents a person and one that represents a corporation, and sorts accordingly. The database then sorts entries as you would, if you only had the time.
2. Uses an artificial intelligence engine to recognize information in each free-form entry. SBook provides for transparent multi-user access to files shared over AppleShare, two-way synchronizing with Apple AddressBook, and automatic export of vCards to the Apple iPod.
3. Search algorithms are blindingly fast and intuitive --- far more powerful (and useful) than simple string-search. Can rapidly import and export data in a wide variety of formats. Can dial the phone using a modem; a second expert system for properly handling area codes and foreign exchanges. A third expert distinguishes between companies and people.
4. Catch keyboard events and interprets them in a way that feels very intuitive. For example, if the word Name is highlighted in an entry and you paste multiple lines, the first line is pasted into the Name line, the font is switched, and the rest is pasted where the word Address appears. Such attention to minutiae is present throughout the program. Up and down arrows in the search field change the selected entry.
5. Entries can be dragged into Apple Mail messages for sending to others, then dragged out and into the recipients SBook file. SBook provides MacOS X Services for envelope printing and creating new entries.
6. SBook5's searching algorithms search in the blink of an eye. Just type a few characters from the person's name, and SBook5 instantly finds the right entry. Don't know the name? No problem --- SBook5 automatically downshifts to full-text search mode, automatically finding all entries that match what you type. SBook pioneered this style of searching back in 1991!
7. Besides storing names and addresses, you can use SBook5 to store:
   • Directions
   • Job evaluations
   • Photographs
   • Recipes
   • Jokes, quotes, or inspirations
8. Support for Cocoa's most modern features, including drag-and-drop, rich text, and services.
9. SBook databases can be encrypted with 128-bit blowfish, for unparalled security.
10. Stores database in XML, to make it easy to interoperate with other applications.
11. Automatically finds and identifies names, phone numbers, email addresses, URLs, and other kinds of information.

Requirements:

• Mac OS X 10.3 or higher

What is EarthquakeX?
EarthquakeX is a port of an old prank/joke control panel for System 7 called Earthquake. When installed, your Macintosh will experience random earthquakes. This version is a bit different from the old one, but the principal is still the same. The old version, being a control panel, allowed you to set the quake frequency, duration and richter level. This version acts more like an extension; user control over the quaking is not allowed (read tip below, however).
How do I use EarthquakeX?
Ideally, you should install this on the computer of someone who is smaller and weaker than you. Then simply double click the EarthquakeX icon. Its a faceless background app, so it will look as if nothing has happened. After a few seconds, your Mac should experience a tremor. If you wish to quit EarthquakeX, simply open up a Terminal window and type:
killall QUIT "Earthquake"
Tip:
You can change the frequency of the tremors, if you know how to use the Terminal. On the Mac where EarthquakeX is installed (make sure it isnt running!), open a terminal and type in:
defaults write com.stimpsoft.earthquakex quakechance -integer [%percent];
Where it says [%percent], put the percent with which a quake can happen. There is a chance for a quake every ten seconds. So for example, if you typed in "defaults write com.stimpsoft.earthquakex quakechance -integer 50;", there will be a 50% chance of a quake every 10 seconds. The default chance for a quake is 30%.
NOTE:
Earthquake was originally created by Marco Carra of SlimyFrog Software in 1994.
EarthquakeX is 159% freeware. You may redistribute the application as you see fit, without notification to myself, as long as no fee is collected.
Enhancements:
- Version 1.1: Works with OS X 10.4 (Tiger), universal binary.

Did you ever talk to a Moose? No? Then its about time a Moose started talking to you! Learn what the great Mooses of history have to tell us mere humans! Pranks, witticisms, jokes, insults! All from politely smiling Meese that pop up on your screen and babble the lights out of you ...
The Talking Moose has been a part of Macintosh history since 1986 (20 years! WOOOO!), and no Mac can truly be called complete without it.
Enhancements:
- Now doesnt round down its size anymore, so it actually stays as large as you request.

Since there seem to be so many ex-BeOS users moving to MacOS X, I decided to start bringing some of BeOSs screensavers along for the ride.

UDF ISO FS Enabler is a Control Strip Module that allows you to temporarily enable or disable Apples and Adaptecs UDF extension as well as Various ISO 9660 File Systems (Apples, Joliet Volume Access and Joke Ridge)

The extension "UDF Volume Access" (this is Apples) must be at least at version 1.5.2 (comes with Mac OS 8.6). Previous versions of Apples UDF can not be disabled with these tools.